As my eyes opened from the sedative my ability to consent was about 24 hours away. A dreamy high will be carrying me into the evening. When the cardiologist blew into my room mid-morning to tell me that I would be in surgery Monday, I did what any happily drugged patient would do under the alpha-male eye of Very Busy Doctor, I said, “Sure, yes, Doctor. You’re the doctor. See you Monday, Doctor.”

Later that morning the surgeon dropped by to introduce himself; he asked if I had seen the cardiologist since the test. Having forgotten, I said No. (Later I will learn about the amnesiac drug Versed, and how - but not why - my memory had to be “treated.” Forgetting stuff helps me medically? What is there to forget that would be a danger to my health? Who prescribes amnesia? Whose purpose is served? Is there any chance that the patient’s starved memory is demanded by malpractice insurance bureaucrats? Are there attorneys in the operating room whispering, “Hey, give him some of that ‘Deposition Alleviation’?”)

December 9.

Alarmed by the grim news, I went to the Net and read essays assembled from many sources and discovered my inadequate understanding of what I was being asked to consider. The first question was obvious: was there risk in waiting? JC, a friend, called me to check on the diagnosis. He had seen the several sides of the medical establishment, lately his own passage through care, and earlier as an attorney on hospital boards. He knew the “game,” which he described as pressure on doctors to fill up the calendar in the operating room. This is classified information and so your doctor will deny it happens. If you are reading this aloud to your doctor, kindly stop and offer him a glass of water. Check for signs of anxiety.

JC, in his way, coaxed me to slow down what he believed was the now rolling medical train.

Later in the middle of an afternoon of reading, I called my primary doctor, the cardiologist, the surgeon and the hospital to announce: “I am postponing the surgery.”

From here on, I was charge, feeling inept and foolish (“who am I to question?”), but in charge.

Next: Naughty Patient

“… pressure on doctors to fill up the calendar in the operating room. This is classified information and so your doctor will deny it happens.”