Thoughts 11/9/16

By Catherine A.M.Z. Csuka

UW-Milwaukee School of Architecture Graduate 2015

I am sorry.
I am sorry that my state of denial has landed us here.

Dear friends and family who were Hillary supporters,

“They just don’t get it”
“They are so stubborn”
“How do they not see their own hypocrisy?”
“They are so mindless I can’t even”
“They deny facts and the reality of our situation”
“They don’t understand that the Democratic Party has left them and they are just being used”

This is what I said behind your back.

I am sorry that I didn’t live up to my own standards and failed to understand your perspective of why you were feeling the way you were.
I am sorry I dismissed your feelings.
I am sorry I contributed to the disconnect that resulted in the death of the left by not being patient with you.

Only now do I recognize the symbolic significance of having a female president as I myself come to realize what it takes to survive as a woman in this all or nothing capitalistic structure.

Dear friends and family who chose not to be involved in the political process,

“I just don’t understand how you can live with yourself”
“How in the golden age of the internet when EVERYTHING is accessible, can they be so apathetic? “
“Do they not realize what is going on? “
“Do they not realize that exempting yourself from expressing your opinion doesn’t dismiss you from being a part of the problem?”
“Don’t they realize this affects them too?”
“Are they just so self-centered that they literally don’t care?”

This is what I said behind your back.

I am sorry I didn’t put myself in your shoes and your life circumstances and how that affected your choice to remain ignorant.

Dear friends and family who were Trump supporters,

“Idiots”

This is what I said behind your back.

I am sorry I failed to recognize that you were just projecting your insecurities on to the world because you have been so angry for so long that you even forgot what you were mad about.
I am sorry I poured gas on your rage and stimulated your survival instinct by threatening your existential identity.

No more blaming.
No more “I told you so” to boost your ego driven by a self-righteous mindset
No more “Bernie would have” because Bernie didn’t.

We must come to terms with what has happened.

Donald J. Trump is our president.

I don’t care if you are still exempting yourself from taking responsibility by saying he is not MY president.

Sorry.
It’s not about you.
It’s not about me.
It’s ALL of our fault.
It’s NONE of our fault.
It just happened.

We are forced to look in the mirror and say this is who we are.
We are ugly.
We represent the worst qualities of humans. The end of the line.
We live in isolation, unable to connect with others because of the normalized idea that the only way to find meaning is to get to the top.
Then what?
That is the question we are not asking ourselves.

That is what Trump represents.
He is an isolated man that got to the top and when he did there was nobody left so the only thing he could do to survive was to keep going higher.

This is our reflection in the mirror. He is an accurate representation of who we are.
There is nowhere to go beyond this as a human race if we don’t do some SERIOUS soul searching.

We needed this.

We needed to be forced to wake up from a fabricated dream.
We would have continued to deceive ourselves because that is way easier than dealing with the roots and layers of chaos we were unwillingly born into.

We can either give up now, which would be the most UN-American thing you could do, or come together and represent the best qualities about what makes us human.

We will only be able to achieve this after we step back for a second, analyze this reality from an objective point of view and come to terms with our own individual identity crisis.

It’s hard. It’s painful.
Karma is a bitch isn’t it.

This is our rude awakening. I’m sorry it had to be like this. But there is only the now and the indefinite possibilities of our future.

This is our last ticket.

If we miss this chance, if we don’t use this as an opportunity to learn the right lesson, we are done.

Our president is not going to determine our future.
How we react to this reality will.

Our fate is in our hands.

All we have is each other in this surreal world.
If they keep us divided, they win.
Say goodbye to life as we know it.
And moving to Canada is not going to help you ultimately because the grass is not greener.
If you run from your problems it will catch up with you.
You can’t escape yourself.
We can’t escape ourselves

The only way to cope with this harsh realization is to focus on your immediate community.

Create your own utopia.

Stop worrying about all the people who are dying because of us.
We can’t fix someone else’s problems that we created when we haven’t even dealt with our own.

So go outside today.
November 10th 2016, a beautiful fall day in Milwaukee, WI.
Read a book.
Go see a movie. (I suggest A Man Called Ove now playing at downer theatre)
Go to a park.
Put your feet in the imperfect Lake Michigan. #waterislife #NODAPL
Touch the trees.

Reclaim the humanity in yourself.
Find your balance.

We heal together. We are miserable in isolation.
That’s why solitary confinement is the cruelest thing you can possibly do to a person because it destroys them from the core.

We are going to be alright.
Be kind to your neighbor. Invite them over for tea or something.

This is not the end. Yet.
This is the beginning.

  1. strongertogether #lovetrumpshate

Thank you all for showing me how to live.

Love,
Ai

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Last edited by Tyler Schuster.   Page last modified on November 14, 2016

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